Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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