I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
