im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
