oh god the rape fog is back!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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