So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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