mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So many bounce houses so little time
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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