Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
