got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize