Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
