beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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