I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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