Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
