Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
