when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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