Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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