Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize