I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
