I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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