Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize