I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
