Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
