I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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