he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
