And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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