Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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