in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize