she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
porn star boner night. come get it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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