i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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