yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
