haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
