Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
