yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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