So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize