Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
