i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Someone shattered a urinal.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
