The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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