it was like his penis was on wheels.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
