There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
