Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
