I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Girls should come with a carfax report
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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