i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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