Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
