Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs

(1-409): View more from Texas

His name should be shouldn't

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"

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