White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize