My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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