I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize