she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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