I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
