Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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