I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
