oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
