How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
