ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
