I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
