one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize