I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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