she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize