hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
