giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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