yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dignity is for republicans.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize