Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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