sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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