His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
