jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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