He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
