In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
