Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Barsexuality is the new black.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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