I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
