how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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