3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
