Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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