Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
