you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
