I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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