The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
